Today, God totally trolled me. I could feel that he was laughing at me with his me gusta face on saying "bitch please!", adding on a yaoming meme face. *headdesk*

There I was listening to songs while I suddenly just daydreamed. I actually realised that my feelings were slowly fading away. Don't know if its a good or bad thing. I'm guessing its because of the 'inner me' forcing myself to forget bout this thing asap. Was just tweeting about how 'proud' I was for my feelings to be fading away this soon and after I clicked "send tweet", again.. I stoned there for a few seconds looking into thin air. Shaking those stupid thoughts away, I looked to my left and suddenly.. I saw an image that I would've never thought of seeing in my life.
There he was standing right there. I bet my heart stopped a beat and the mini heart attack I got? Indescribable. I believe I turned away (to the right, looking like an idiot) in less than a second, hoping that he hadn't noticed my presence. I stumbled and looked to the back, looking like an idiot again just PRAYING that we'll never make any eye contact, or even for him to notice me. I must've stared at NOTHING at the back of the car for a very long time cause by the time I looked upfront again, my neck hurt a lil.
I felt so stupid and ironic and I messed up my hair like a fool, buried my face in my palms and screamed a silent but yet ear piercing scream inside of me. I stole a glance, half hoping that he's still there.. but also half hoping that he'd be gone. And with a sigh of relief, I hit myself hard when I realised that he wasn't there anymore. I bet he didn't even noticed me! Why am I making such a big fuss out of this.. what? 2 seconds encounter of the day? Even if he DID saw me, what the hell's the big deal? Who am I? Right?

Now that explains the first line of this entry. When I thought that guanyinma wasn't looking at me, she proved me wrong right away. Can you imagine the irony of the whole situation? I was just tweeting bout how my feelings were fading away and all of that stuff (also because I haven't been talking to/seeing him for a while now) and VOILA! Guanyinma decided to play tricks on me by making him appear RIGHT at the moment. The 'perfect' moment. How the hell can this be even true? I mean.. c'mon! Right when I LEAST expect to see him appearing, and there he is standing right there? But when I hope to just catch a glimpse of him, I don't even see his shadows.
Is this a lesson that teaches me on how to 'expect less'? Or is this just plain ol' guanyinma's tricks on poor lil me? I feel like running around the football field for 10,000 times while I scream FML non stop.
I am now in the FML mode again. FML.

*slaps self* I am doing a good job and obviously I am trying bloody hard to forget bout everything so GUANYINMA for buddha's sake please stop playing tricks on me! This "I'll-let-you-see-him-when-you-don't-want-to" thing has been going on for WEEKS and I am sick and tired of it! I just wanna get it over and done with so please.. no more interrupting me pleaseeeee!! *prays hard*

Sigh.. Christmas is just around the corner and I haven't even started on writing the cards yet. Shall really do so tomorrow after meeting up with my long lost aunt. Having a partay this Saturday and hoping that it'd be a really good and memorable one. Never had a Christmas party before.. so you can see how excited I am with all the santa hats, deer antler bands and yadda yadda. Praying that everything will turn out to be one hell of a night for everyone. After Christmas, I'll be looking forward for NYE instead. I am so done with this year. No more looking back and no more regrets. What has happened has happened and I will be welcoming the year of 2012 with open arms. May it be filled with happiness, laughter, love and good health for everyone!
Still no plans for NYE yet. Wondering if anyone's gonna ask me out for a party? Some booze would do just the magic on the last day of this horrible year!

I'm also SUPER looking forward for the coming CNY as we are ONCE AGAIN performing in 1 Utama!! *throws confetti* I've always LOVED performing there cause... I don't know? Its just fun! Every time I perform there, I'll bump into someone I know for sure and that's a really nice thing ;)
Too bad we'll only be playing in the Old Wing but hey! Who cares? I'll just enjoy and do my thing and bring joy to other people with my music. Though I can't really bring joy to MYSELF.. but I certainly want people around me to be happy and healthy.
We'll be playing some really different pieces this time and that's probably the core reason for me to be looking forward to the performances. Something different, new age, and ONZ! Can't wait to stand there and work those pieces out!

Guess its time to sleep. Okay maybe not.. Maybe I'll just flip a few pages of the comic I just bought before I hit the sack. I haven't been buying any mangas for MONTHS! Can you even imagine that? A manga junkie like me? Survived months without getting new comics? Geez.. I'm good at this endurance thingie. If it weren't for the assignments, I would've stocked up at least a bundle of new comics from the bookstores. Now, I can finally relax and read my books.
So here you go.. good night everyone. Happy Winter Solstice and hope you had a great dinner with all of your loved ones tonight. Be good.

x

p/s: I am still debating with myself! I saw a huge Stitch selling in 1 Utama that day and it looked so adorable but its so expensive! Damn it! Its like a hundred bucks for a Stitch! There was even a bigger one and that was 180 bucks. Kidding me? But I really liked it.. I'm such a sucker for soft toys. blergh!