Have you ever gave up on something that you're not even supposed to chase for in the beginning?

I'm a hundred and one percent sure that almost every single living thing in this world felt this way before, and I am sure how it feels like when you're in the process of giving up. It sucks and the best part of all is when your heart feels so pain, its like you're dipping a freshly cut wound into the sea. Ouch? Ouch.

Honestly, there's really nothing much to begin with. All along I knew that it'd be a "mission impossible" and I knew that I should have given up earlier. Now that I'm already climbing halfway through the tunnel, I find it tougher getting out than getting in.
I am dreading to get out from this dark and crazy tunnel but why do I keep slipping back down as if someone's pulling my legs down there? I am trying my hardest to just wake up from this nightmare.. I really am.
I feel even worse when someone close to me gave me really obvious hints to just turn on the light bulb in my head. How can I not listen when I know that all he really cares about is me? He's been asking me to look properly and to not do stupid stuffs. How can I not listen? I know that he loves me and cares for me dearly but that moment when those words started crawling into my ears, my tears almost gushed out and I fought so darn hard to keep them from falling. I felt really stupid and sad at the same time.

Stupid cause I fell for the wrong guy. Sad cause he's just telling me the ugly truth. I just wanna wake up from this nightmare and live my life normally again. Why is it so difficult? I really miss those days when I don't even know what the heck is love. Nothing to be emo about. No one to cry for.
Now in this very moment.. I just wanna say.. 我也不想。。

Someone wake me up please.... I don't wanna dwell on this anymore..





















I'm the stupidest human alive.