Okay.. let's get back to the main thing here. The reason why I am blogging now is because.. I have no one to talk to.

Do I sound like some stupid anti-social nerd who stays at home and do nothing but to read some witchcraft story books the whole day?

I know I do.

Because I AM. Okay maybe I'm not. I am just a sad lil bitch who has no one to talk to when I NEED to do so badly. Yes I have family I have friends. I HAVE EVERYONE.

But do you seriously expect me to tell my problems to my parents? No sorry.

To my siblings? Guess not.

To anyone else? My friends? I don't wanna make them emo with my problems.

I tried to talk to people really close with me. But before I could even get into what I really wanna say.. they've already kicked me down the cliff with a sharp kick on the back.

"You're not the only one with problems"

Like... wow..

Seriously?

Okay.. *walks off*

I know I am not the only one with problems. But I thought that I AM supposed to go to you guys when I'm clouded with problems? I'm not even asking you guys to solve my damn problems! Just listening to me will be such a bloody blessing already but NO. I can't even do that.

I can't even TALK.

I CAN'T BLOODY TALK TO SOMEONE?

Fuck me already.

I would never say such things to someone who needs to talk. I mean.. come on. If someone comes and talk to me.. Its pretty obvious that they bloody NEED you right? If not, what's the point of them talking to you? They too have a thousand and one friends but out of all, she/he came to you. Don't you feel SPECIAL because you're the person that she/he thinks of when they have problems?

Again I repeat: I WILL NEVER TELL SOMEONE OFF IF THEY NEED ME.

Seriously.. call me in the middle of the night, I'll listen to you with my eyes closed. Mark my words. Print screen this and shove me in the face if I ever break this promise. Anyone. Do it.

I can totally understand my mood swings for the past few days (cause of my PMS duh) but now that I'm done, why am I still feeling this way?

Maybe its because we just didn't talk today. *sighs*

2 more days till I wave goodbye to being a 'teenager'. Saying au revoir to the 1 in front of the digits and welcoming 2 to take its place. Not excited. AT ALL.

Don't call me an emo bitch. I am NOT.

I'm just not looking forward to it cause I can already predict what's gonna happen on that day.

Wake up - lunch - do assignments - dinner - eat cake - watch xfactor - go to bed.

VOILA!

Then wake up tomorrow morning - do assignments - go to work - come home - do assignments again - sleep.

VOILA 2ND TIME!

Don't you dare call me an emo bitch. Its so predictable.. Just hope that someone could just bloody drag me out from the house after dinner and go for a drink. Sad enough, my friends are all decent people, even though I am pretty decent too, but these few days I just feel like going for something more than the tea mamak serves. I need to have some fun too. Why can't anyone understand me?

Sometimes I get so depressed and emotional because no one understands me. I can probably win the awards of "easiest laugher" and "easiest cryer" at the same time.

I laugh and get happy super quick and easy. Do just ONE funny face and I'll be laughing like a dork though I really hate you.

I cry DAMN easily. I cry when I listen to songs, read comics and etc.

My emotions are like roller coasters at times. Because I get so emotional easily, I just need more happiness in my life. 70% of what I am going through now can make me cry whereas the other 30% are either happiness or mixed emotions.

I get so sad sometimes when I know that I can't talk to no one.

I just sit in my room and sing emo songs.. like now. Then I'll start getting depressed and in less than 2 minutes, tears will start falling. Whoever who's calling me an emo shit now can slap yourself now cause you're not me and you're not going through what I am going through now.

Its like when you reach out your hand for someone, that someone in the dark just pushed you aside with a rude thug. Now I know how befrienders make a living.. I myself would really consider calling a befriender if this goes on.

Okay I'm kidding.

BUT STILL. Sigh..

Maybe its the stress from the assignments that's making me feel like crap now. Just a few more days and I'll be dropping them into the pigeon hole and soon we'll be off for dinner and some booze with the new gang of friends!

*slaps self* stay positive lym.

Okay.. back to assignments.

Happy birthday in advance lummannmann.. *hugs self, sings happy birthday song to self*

x

p/s: I keep telling myself to forget bout you but the more I do, the more I fall for you!!! I wanna see you.. *sniffs* but I don't wanna see you.. I wanna talk to you so badly.. I stopped myself from talking to you today and I did but I feel really emo and down now..

wtf am I doing la?

*bangs wall*