November, like any other months, wasn't really that all fascinating to me. Or so I could say, this whole bloody year was a total mess. Things were all over the place, messed up, this and that. Too many for me to even bother recalling. Just another more month and you're good to go, 2011. Obviously hoping and PRAYING to guanyinma that 2012 will be a good boy and treat us all well. As much as I love welcoming December to my open arms, I am also dreading it as our assignments' due date's just 2 weeks more! This is a total torment for me and good Lord, they're all piling up like damn Mount Fuji!!

These 2 weeks are gonna be terrible but again, I am looking at the bright side... just to be on the positive track.

I must admit that I've been in a really foul mood for the past few weeks. Blaming it on PMS or whatever I can, but the one and only reason for me to be feeling this way is not as simple as having PMS or assignments' stress.. Le sigh.

All I could do now is leave everything to fate. Then I'll hope, pray and have faith that things will work out. If these feelings could last for a few more weeks, I'll probably make a move. If it dies off soon enough before I could even realise it, then I'll just let 'em slip off.

Of all people... I fell for you. What a miracle! Si ikan... sniffs.

Still still still waiting for my babyboy beluga whale plushie to arrive. Pink bought it for me as my birthday gift and I am anxiously waiting for it to arrive!

Again, if it wasn't for si ikan I wouldn't know of beluga whale at all. I fell in love immediately when he first showed me and ever since then.. I'm love sick.. of beluga whales.

As if I'm not crazy enough.. today when I was alone browsing through mags and books, waiting to go into the cinema, I looked up and I saw a magazine with a beluga whale on the cover! At first I hesitated and wasn't really sure if its really a beluga, and then I flipped open and I saw a whole article covering bout them! I was so excited and I quickly browsed through the article and decided to walk over to the cashier and I paid. After paying 18 bucks, I realised that its a magazine for divers... *headdesk*

Whatever it is.. I paid for the beluga! Hmph!

Talking bout birthdays.. I'm not looking forward for my own birthday. Wait.. did I just said that I was looking forward to it up there? Whatever.. I'm not.

Guess cause it has always been the same. Eat at home. Sleep.

Not that I'm complaining or whatsoever, I really do enjoy having meals at home. Why burn a hole in everyone's pockets just for a stupid dinner? I rather eat at home and plus, I can even request dishes that I want to eat!

Its just that... Its like......................

*says with a darn soft voice*

no one really cares?

I've always been the one organising everyone's birthdays. From presents, cakes, to meals.. Since I'm the youngest.. Whenever its one of the siblings' birthdays.. we'll just have a meal and then next they'll all dress up in fancy clothes and hop into one of the busiest clubs in town... and all we (the parents and I) are left with is just crows flying above us. Didn't mean that literally. But you get the idea.

I wonder why I never have such celebrations in my life before. Don't tell me I'm too young for that. I am already 20. I don't go to clubs or pubs with my friends simply because my siblings do not allow me to. They said those places are dangerous and if I wanna go, THEY will bring me there. But this never happened!! Okay maybe once which was last week where we went to a pub and saw DJ Roxy June BUT THAT'S IT!!

When my friends ask me whether I've been to clubs or pubs before.. my answer's NO. AND THEY BLOODY LAUGH AT ME. How horrible. I'm not PROUD because I'm anti social and all.. but I too wanna gain some experience from places like these you know.. Its not like I am bloody desperate to go but I just wanna see how things work when I'm in there.

Already I've always been a super obedient girl who either ;

1) stay home and facebook (if this is too much then go hang yourself)

2) go to the office and teach

3) go outside and perform

4) read my story books/comics

5) sing

.....

What the heck are these -_- I mean seriously.. I basically DO NOT go anywhere else other than my house, college, office.. and of course 1 Utama for our usual movie fix. Now you know why my friends laugh at me when I tell them that I never really go to this type of places.

Disclaimer again: Its not that I wanna be a wild chick running around the city every night.. but I really do hope that sometimes I'd get pulled out of the house for a drink or two.. If this too much to ask for.. then I'll just shut up and go to sleep now.

I may have been to countless places for performances.. but again honestly, when was the last time I really had some REAL fun with REAL people? Though my friends never fail to make me laugh.. nothing beats family love.

I hope they too realise that their not-so-little little sister NEEDS (not wants) to have some fun too. I am actually quite shocked at myself for taking their advises so seriously and NOT go clubbing with my friends.

Where to find la this type of girl? *points at self*

Even my whatsapp status is damn boring:

- Its either I'm at work or studying

FML!! I wanna go for partays and haps too! RAWRR! If this goes on I will really ask my friends to bring me out! *growlllll*

Back to the topic.. I just hope that my birthday would be a little more 'exciting' this year. Though I am foreseeing that it will still be as boring.. hoping and praying sure won't do any harm right? *sigh*

Time to go to bed.. catching up with the girls tomorrow. Good night.. *frowns*

x

p/s: Today's the first time for me to be stepping into the cinema ALONE! I watched 50/50 and it was a really nice movie. I guess watching movies alone isn't that all depressing after all. I guess I'll be doing it again some time soon..